Why depression is confusing.

Things you might relate to if you have depression and anxiety.

1. Just leave me the HECK alone and stop treating me like a child!! Well, at least until I am feeling down and then I probably am going to need your immediate attention for an extended period of time. I also wouldn't mind if you would tuck me in and treat me like a parent would their sick baby.

2. I promise I will not flake on you if the thing you want from me is in the next five minutes.

3. I just had the most life altering idea! Now I am going to take a nap and hope I forget it so that I can once again be content with the life I can mostly manage.

4. You can tell me that you are sorry I have depression, but it might help me more if you laughed with me at the ridiculousness of this horrific situation. The trick is to pretend we're all on a sit-com.

Mindfulness

I'm breathing deeply. My fingers are on the keys of our new keyboard. The buttons are flatter on this one. The click sounds different. I kind of like the feel. It isn't quite as good or easy I mean, to keep your fingers on the keys. My fingers slide more than I would like. There is music playing softly in the background . The computer is humming. That sound is comforting to me for some reason. It reminds me of quiet late nights. Everything is asleep, but the computer is still working. I took the fleece layer out of my winter coat today. It kind of makes that cold rustle sound every time my leg bounces. It sure feels good to breathe. I  can't believe how empty my head feels. It feels like I have just drunk something really cold and clear- but into my head instead of my belly.

To Whom It May Concern

Dear random woman downtown wearing this today:

You have very nice legs. I'm sure you get some great comments on those fine legs from

 this

 

or this

or maybe even this.

I dunno.

However,

 I just wanted to let you know that the guy who smelled like 

this

 

and asked you for some of

 this

 

so that he could buy some of 

this...

watched you walk away- making 

THIS face.

 

He then turned to us and said that he wouldn't mind getting 

some of this from you.

This concerns me. I hope it concerns you too.

I'm thinking you may want to consider wearing

this

 the next time you are headed downtown.

I'm afraid a guy like that will end up offering
 YOU
some of

 with entirely different things in mind.

Good luck!

Little things

1. Cracked lips from too much smiling.
2. Friends so close they forget other
people are around.
3. Totally unapologetic and appreciated awkwardness.
4. Simplicity.
5. Childlike naivety.

How fortuitous.

Sweet. China is on my side.

Up, but not out is down.

I am up, but I'm not out of bed

Those things that you said

Have been running around in my head

I'm not sure

Why this record is playing anymore

Won't you try, for the peace of my soul

Just recall

that sweet kiss that you stole

Buried deep in your chest

 is that mournful request 

To give it all up and to smile

Time goes on on the outside

But today I'm trapped indoors.

The sun still shines on my shoulder

But it freezes and stops

 building ice on the clocks

And I guess I'm just down today