To Whom It May Concern

Dear random woman downtown wearing this today:

You have very nice legs. I'm sure you get some great comments on those fine legs from

 this

 

or this

or maybe even this.

I dunno.

However,

 I just wanted to let you know that the guy who smelled like 

this

 

and asked you for some of

 this

 

so that he could buy some of 

this...

watched you walk away- making 

THIS face.

 

He then turned to us and said that he wouldn't mind getting 

some of this from you.

This concerns me. I hope it concerns you too.

I'm thinking you may want to consider wearing

this

 the next time you are headed downtown.

I'm afraid a guy like that will end up offering
 YOU
some of

 with entirely different things in mind.

Good luck!